Oh, Friday

I thought long and hard about slipping away into the bathroom and taking a nap on the toilet at work today. A nice half hour snooze would really make a difference in my 9.5 hours of daily suffering. The gentle hum of the fan, the dim lighting, it would really do the trick. The obvious question comes to mind, what if I get caught? My first option, which is foolproof in any situation, is to cry. Nobody wants to deal with, let alone yell at, someone who is crying. Especially a coworker, especially with his pants down, especially on the toilet. If I couldn't find the tears in time my next option would be to play dead. This is much more difficult because once I am started by someone coming in the bathroom and finding me sleeping on the toilet, it would be difficult to regain my composure. The composure of the dead that is. If I do succeed the consequences of playing dead in my office would probably be much worse than just falling asleep on the toilet. Not worth it. There is also the chance of falling asleep with my head in my crotch and from first glance it could look like I'm trying to suck my own dick, at work, on the toilet. The ol' blumpkin in the office gag is a good way to get fired. On second thought I think I'll just get some coffee.