A day at the office

Working 9.5 hours a day 5 days a week is quite exhausting, here is how I make it through the day:

8:30am-9am: Getting into the office, getting organized, putting my lunch in the fridge, getting settled.

9am-9:15: Determining the level of importance of each task for the day. Reading emails.

9:15-10:00: Probably the part of the day I get the most actual work done.

10:00-11:00: Complain to boss about things he can't control. "why can't we get a water cooler with a 3rd nozzle that dispenses hot chocolate or milk shakes depending on the weather?" or "who do I have to fuck around here to get a company car". Email Friends about nonsense.

11:00-11:10: Refuse to do things the editor's ask.

11:10-11:30: First bowel movement of the day. Read "Uncle John's Sixth Bathroom Reader" cover to cover.

11:30-12:30: Stare mindlessly out the window thinking of past lovers.

12:30-12:35: Bathroom Break.

12:35-12:37: First of many "your mom" jokes to my boss. A highlight.

12:37-12:39: Second of many "your mom" jokes to my boss. Another highlight.

12:40-1:00: Complain about "Unbearable Hunger" Dick around on the Internet.

1:00-200: Lunch.

2:00-3:00: At this point in the day I'm filled with gas and bored out of my mind. This part of the day is hell on earth for my boss. We share an office. More dicking around on the Internet.

3:00-3:30: This is the part of the day when I loose all desire to work. I struggle to stay awake at my desk.

3:30- 4:00: Coffee Break, a few of us walk to Dunkin' Donuts. Good times.

4:00-5:30: "Frank Time". "Frank Time" consists of staring out the window, walking around the office without direction, dicking around online, zoning out for 20mins at a time, trying to get my boss to listen to harder music, all around slacking off.

5:30-5:50: Second bowel movement of the day. Reread Uncle John's Sixth Bathroom Reader.

5:50-5:59: Watching the clock. Sending last minute emails telling co-workers I won't be in the office the following day.

5:59: Out the door.